Muses and stuff

Time sure does fly!

2011-03-08T09:28:00.002-05:00

Well, I wondered about writing again on my blog but didn't realize how much time had passed since the last time I wrote! My life has changed dramatically. Lynn is 4 1/2 and has a "baby" sister Eve who will be three on April 23. I made Associate ACPE Supervisor in April 2010 and Diana made tenure last year also. We are doing well and enjoying life. I will upload a picture of the girls another time as well.

Lynn's first birthday party

2007-09-23T10:11:00.000-04:00

Lynn's 1st birthday party was two weeks ago already--we have been very busy for the past several weeks. Between getting ready for the party, family from out of the area, my work load and trying to work on papers, and on and on goes the list. I am sorry I haven't written sooner. I have also recently gotten sucked into Facebook from our friends in Aussie land. So when I am on the computer and playing instead of working-I am sending people pretend flowers, fish, ghosts, and Harry Potter spells for happiness. Very silly really but somehow it feels like I am connecting with people in a meaningful way that won't happen as much due to time limits. The first pic is of Lynn on her swings that grandpa Norm and Shelly gave her. The second pic is of Lynn on her new Porsche that grandpa Geoff and Roberta gave her for her birthday. She loves them both and the many other items and clothes she received too. She is also the best dressed at daycare. Such fun.

2007-08-29T21:36:00.001-04:00

I love this picture--my hair has already grown back a great deal. But this makes me want to cut if all off again. I look better without hair. Isn't that weird?

July video

2007-08-28T13:11:00.000-04:00

This is Lynn during our July vacation.

Here's a look at the swing set coming for Lynn

2007-08-18T19:24:00.001-04:00

This is the swing set we are getting-without the slide and monkey bars. Nice wood and very stable set. Picture from King of Swings in Duluth, GA website.

Sorry so long since last post...

2007-08-18T19:01:00.000-04:00

I am having trouble posting today. I wrote one out and it disappeared--hate that. Anyways...Diana and I have been busy with work, house stuff, playing with Lynn, weekend plans with friends, etc. We went a couple of weekends looking for a nice wood swing set, as Grandpa Norm and Grandma Shelly want to give Lynn one for her first birthday. Actually I am pretty excited about this gift--she loves swinging and was laughing in the store just trying it out. She also seemed to get a little afraid but before I could slow the swing down, she would break out laughing--so I wonder if she is getting that lose your stomach feeling and isn't sure what to think of it. Very cute. So her birthday is only three weeks away now--crazy! Last year at this time, I went on bed rest due to the high blood pressure--sure doesn't feel like it was a whole year ago. I finished my summer group on Friday and now need to write their final evaluations. I had a great group and will miss working with them. Three will return for residency this fall and one of my past spring students will be back too. So I will get to see most of them daily for the next year. I think the other two will stay in touch and that will be fun. Diana and I will have them over to the house for a party in a few weeks. They will be the first group I have ever had over--so you know they were a good group! Lynn was absolutely adorable today. She was in a good mood most of the day, drank her milk better with her new sippy cups, walked with her toy (see pic), and giggled a bunch for Diana and I when we played with her on the bed in the afternoon. I love when she giggles like that--makes me laugh too. Today we barely had to touch her thighs and tummy to get her laughing--what fun! She continues to be one of the best things I ever have done, besides marrying Diana! :)

Lynn's friend from down the street, Anna.

2007-08-07T15:16:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGm8lbWIpbE (In case the video still won't post--you can check it out for yourself. very cute! Here's Lynn's friend Anna, crawling around quite quickly and talking too! What fun!

Craig's List a hit again!

2007-07-29T20:46:00.000-04:00

So...last weekend when we came home from buying Diana's new car, I said let's put it on Craig's list. Diana was busy reading Harry Potter, of course, and it was hard to distract her for a few minutes to help me make a basic ad up for her old car. She helped and within a few minutes we listed her car and planned to add pics the next morning after she washed the car. After lunch, we checked email and found someone was interested--long story short--sold the car that afternoon quick and easy. So Diana run in the house that evening all excited to list something else to sell. We listed the dog kennel. Although we hope to get another dog when we are ready--we plan on getting one big enough to not be able to squeeze out of the fence. And with the weather so hot here, I am not as comfortable using the kennel as I had been up north. So we listed it. Finally posted pics today, but it was too late as the guy on his way bought it and took it home right away. So now Diana is excited and looking all around the house for what else we are not using and decluttering the house--which is great! Nothing big left to sell, just small things. Diana's students came over today for a cook out. Very fun as usual--love this end of the year parties. She has some great students. And one couple has a cutie boy, only six weeks old. What a munchkin! It was great when he fell asleep on my shoulder for a while. Lynn enjoyed the numerous people to play with as the students all enjoyed seeing her awake and very playful. All in all a good weekend. Especially with babies! I worked some more on my theology paper and Diana has spent some time proofing it for me. I am almost done with it and hope to move onto the next paper very soon. I think I will tackle the personality paper next. Tiem to get ready for the week ahead. Peace my friends.

The new car and a very happy Diana

2007-07-25T07:44:00.000-04:00

Here's a picture of Diana and Ramael from Curry Honda--great salesman. He actually drove the car to our house so we won't disrupt Lynn's sleeping schedule or get a baby sitter on short notice. Love the color!

Busy car weekend...

2007-07-23T07:44:00.000-04:00

...I planned on writing in here this weekend, as was as doing a lot of chores around the house--but the car stuff took more time than I had accounted for. It has been a good weekend in all. Diana bought a Honda Civic and we are waiting for the color we picked to come in on the truck--shoudl be any day now. And surprise, surprise--we sold the Tercel through Craig's List on Sunday. We had posted it late Saturday night and hadn't even gotten a picture up with it and this guy emailed that he was interested. Sure enough he bought it yesterday! Wow!! Amazing!! We thought we might have a hard time selling it--but not as all. And we got three times what the Honda dealer was going to give us! Yippie! Tiny drawback is now we are down to one car and it made things a little complicated, but we worked it out. How fun! Can't wait for the new car to arrive and be in our driveway. It will be so much easier to put Lynn in with a 4 door car. And she was a doll this weekend, even after spending hours and hours at the car dealers. She is/was a real trooper!

Additional cute photos.

2007-07-11T17:50:00.001-04:00

Lynn is having so much fun on the swing and learning how to rock her rocking chair. I can't believe she figured out how to rock in it within seconds already. Smart girl!

Feeling like a bachelor.

2007-07-11T17:15:00.000-04:00

I know I should feel like a bachelorette, but it doesn't. I guess I feel more like a bachelor when Diana isn't home because I don't eat as well and usually end up watching more TV or playing computer games than doing something productive--stereotypical single male behavior. And the fun part--I am going to go out with the girls a few times this week as well. Thought about trying a strip club, but they are all too cheesy and sketchy for me. Guess I am a woman after all! Ha! So tomorrow a friend and I will hit the pool hall and Friday night another friend and I will hit somewhere else. In the meantime, Diana and Lynn have been enjoying their vacation time with more swimming and swinging. Lynn seems to recognize my voice on the phone which is neat. And Diana is enjoying the lake and time with family which is great. I am okay with them being away and haven't been the basket case I expected I would be--but it is getting old and I look froward to having them home soon. I miss hugging them so much the stuffing comes out! In the meantime, I have been not so bachelor like and have done shopping and straightening out around the house. Next on my mental list is laundry, vacuuming, yard work, and more straightening. Today we have been married three years--I thought it was four, because I feel we have shared so much, it feels like it can't be so little time. Nevertheless, I love my wife and look forward to spending many more years together. Enough time that we barely remember being without each other. :) Note: the family picture is awesome isn't it?!

Lynn on the swing

2007-07-01T22:32:00.000-04:00

Can't figure out why this pic is sideways--isn't in iphoto, but alas it is here. She loved it and looks so big compared to the previous time we took her to a swing.

Vacation--first days.

2007-07-01T21:00:00.000-04:00

She is all tuckered out after her first swim in White-Lake.

Busy and fun weekend.

2007-06-24T18:26:00.000-04:00

Well, yesterday we walked our little legs off walking through the booths at Gay Pride. Had lots of fun and Lynn enjoyed the ride through the crowd. Today we played at home and then went bathing suit shopping -which is always a struggle. Four stores later,we each have some suits to chose from to wear next week on vacation. Lynn never got a chance to sit in her pool this weekend. We were too busy. So I will leave it out and she can play in it tomorrow with the baby girl Anna from down the street. And somehow the weekend is over already and I didn't get done nearly as much as I needed to! Clothes need to be washed and put away. Need new sheets on the bed. And we need to start packing. Plus I haven't finished my own eval for this CPE unit due on Tuesday. Oye! What can I say!

Great weekend--swimming for Lynn!

2007-06-17T16:26:00.000-04:00

This picture is of Lynn in her new tiny swimming pool in the backyard. She didn't like it at first but then got used to it and was splashing around and playing with some toys. Yesterday we took her to Diana's cousins house where they go swimming in their community pool. Lynn loved that water just fine, so it may be a temperature thing or that we were in the water with her in the big pool. Either way we are getting her used to water for our summer vacation which is already only weeks away! What fun we had watching her play with the water. And she slept great too after all that fun playing. We worked on those cabinet latches--what a pain in the butt! Got our bathroom cabinets done but got fed up with the drawers. Then Lynn was up from her nap and we had to move on to other things. I told Diana, we should start looking for a new house to buy that comes with these latches already installed. Oh well. We got more chores to catch up on. See ya soon.

Oh one more thing...

2007-06-10T09:41:00.000-04:00

Lynn loves my shaved head!

Lynn had a bunch of firsts yesterday.

2007-06-10T08:48:00.001-04:00

This weekend has been very eventful for Lynn. She had many firsts on Saturday--so you know she was a very busy girl! Let's see...where to start? Well, she has discovered that military style crawling is easier than to keep struggling to stay on her knees and she can get where she has been dying to go now. So...she has been moving around the floors quite well now and it doesn't matter if it is hardwood or rug and she is quite happy about her ability to move across rooms now on her own. She has figured out how to open the drawer in the kitchen that is at her level lying down. The one thing I haven't taken the time to install is those darn little cabinet and drawer thing-a-ma-jigs to keep her from being able to open them. Rats. I guess I have to work on them now. It seems like it will take forever to install them. Oh well. She has started pulling herself up at least to a kneeling position. She can't yet pull to full standing position but she sure wants to climb--now that is clear. She was able to move from lying on her stomach to a seated position with ease. And I think lastly, she was able to take some steps while I held her hands above her. In trying this before she has always fallen over and not been able to move her feet when prompted. So this is a big one! She enjoyed it for several steps a few times yesterday so we will continue to play with that. We have definitely crossed a new threshold and our lives will never be the same. She is mobile now and needs a new level of observation, especially in the kitchen. Oh how scary and wonderful at the same time. I took some photos of these firsts and will post them later when I get a chance to download them in between her activities and naps.

Important news to share...

2007-06-03T11:44:00.000-04:00

well, Lynn is days short of turning nine months old. She has lived as long in the world as she did in the womb now! I got a major haircut to show my support and grief at the struggle a few of our friends are having with various types of cancer. It has been hard to hear their stories and not be able to do very much to help. So I did the walk-a-thon for breast cancer and vow to walk every year and then I shaved my head to support my supervisor in CPE as she loses her hair from the chemo. In case folks are worried I did this on a whim, know I thought about it and talked it over with several people including my supervisor to make sure she won't be offended before I had Mandi take it off for me. I don't regret it so far and Lynn seems to love playing with my head as an added bonus! Tomorrow I will see what my students and colleagues think in morning meeting. My sup will be in around noon and then she will have a chance to react too! I do hope to write in this blog more often, so don't completely give up on me--I shall return!

Feb is almost over already!

2007-02-24T14:11:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it is the last little bit of the month already. Time is flying by! Lynn is shy of 6 months and we started her on rice cereal two days ago. She seems to like it--both eating it and wearing it. :) Lynn continues to be a very happy baby and I count us very lucky to have such an easy baby. She is doing well at "school". She sits up unsupported for long periods of time and uses both hands to play with her toys. We can see the outline of two teeth on her bottom gums--so we expect them to pop out anytime now. Lynn has been drooling and chewing on her teething rings for a while as well. She is big enough to sit up on the baby bath tub and I will try her soon in the blow-up duck one she got as a gift. Well, off to play with Lynn and Diana as one just woke up and the other came home from working today. Can you guess who is who?

The New Year...complete with major changes

2007-01-17T18:12:00.000-05:00

Well, the New Year has started. Lynn is 4 months old and off to "school" or better known as day care. She actually adjusted quite well, although in the first week, she didn't eat much. That has changed and she eats just fine there now. Lynn is experiencing her first day care cold, but really her second cold in her life. This one is more of a icky cough. She decided to share it with Mama this time as I got the first one. So nice of her to share at a young age! Anyways...I returned to full time work and started supervising an intense January 1/2 CPE term with three students. 7 overnights this month is kicking their butts as they are halfway through it. It has been a great experience so far. Breastfeeding continues to go well for Lynn and me. I had trouble at first getting used to pumping at work 3x a day and finding the space to do so. Now I am more comfortable and have found the lactation room at the hospital that I can use as well. Lynn is able to sit up better and loves to try to stand with support as well. She is very alert and engaging with other people. Often she laughs and smiles, and occasionally we can get her to really giggle much to our delight. We moved Lynn to her own room and crib this past Sunday. She is sleeping better now and we are too but still waking up waiting to see when she is in need of a feeding, etc. I put her down for a much needed nap this afternoon--and she is still sleeping 2 hours later. Mind you she cried for the first twenty five minutes. Her day care lost power today, so I had to pick her up before lunch time. She enjoyed coming to my job for a little bit and then I left early (half day). Since I couldn't stay at work and really needed tires, I used the opportunity to get tires for my car. now I feel much safer having Lynn with me in the car, especially with rain and possible ice coming tonight into the morning. This is why her nap schedule was all off and she needed sleep badly. Oh well. Hopefully she will wake up soon so I can feed her and have some time to engage her before it is past her normal bedtime or worse she struggles to go to sleep again for hours. :(

Holidays

2006-12-22T06:38:00.000-05:00

Well, we certainly wish everyone a very happy and healthy holiday and New Years! We have just returned from a worldwind tour of family and friends. Lynn had a little trouble napping and eating in busy places--but otherwise she did great. She flies like an experienced traveler. It was wonderful to see everyone we did and we wish we had more time with each person than we did. It is hard with our work schedules and the amount of people to visit to do it differently. I will post some great pics later...I'll try to include something special now.

2006-12-01T18:34:00.000-05:00

Isn't she just the cutest! Diana and I love playing with her. And she clearly loves playing with us too. :)

Silly quiz

2006-12-01T16:22:00.000-05:00

You scored as C.G. Jung. You are more of a spiritualist than would be immediately apparent. Some of your notions are questioned by the cynical, but deep down you know the human consciousness is more than the flesh and tissue can account for. You tend to take a scientific observationist look on matters the average person wouldn't even begin to analyze. You personally are responsible for most of the ideas that are floating around in modern psychologist's/psychic's paltry little skulls. On the down side, you tend to be associated with that asshole Freud.

C.G. Jung

92%

Dante Alighieri

67%

Friedrich Nietzsche

58%

Mother Teresa

50%

Elvis Presley

42%

Sigmund Freud

42%

Steven Morrissey

33%

O.J. Simpson

33%

Charles Manson

25%

Stephen Hawking

25%

Miyamoto Musashi

25%

Jesus Christ

25%

Adolf Hitler

Hugh Hefner

What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You? created with QuizFarm.com

Time flies...

2006-10-11T12:08:00.000-04:00

it is already five weeks after delivery. I am returning to work on Friday and see the doc for my six week check-up on Monday. I find that amazing that I am coming to the end of my leave from work. Of course it has been really seven weeks since I went on bed rest, so no wonder I feel like it has been a while. I look forward to returning and yet I miss Lynn too. I am very glad I am returning part-time for a while first so I won't miss seeing her change and find new skills. She is as cute as ever and is growing bigger all the time. Took her in the Baby Bjorn yesterday food shopping. She was very content and sleeping most of the time. But when it was dinner time for her, only my thumb in her mouth keep her happy. It was nice of the woman in line behind us to help put our stuff on the belt--funny people have been very helpful and I am always so surprised. I am going to try to take a shower as she is sleeping in her bouncy seat--hopefully she won't wake up too soon. We shall see what happens. Today's big trip is to my haircut appointment. She is sure to be showered with attention there from Mandy and the rest of the staff.

Oh...I have been busy!

2006-09-26T13:23:00.000-04:00

Most of you already know that my little bundle of joy, Lynn, arrived on Sept 5 and I have been busy with her and getting the hang of being a parent. She is amazing and I have spending time with her. The birth story is worthy of posting, but I don't have the time or energy to record it now. Let's just say--I labored all day on Labor Day and delivered at 1 AM the next morning. I was right she came early as I suspected. And I was wrong--natural delivery was not for me. Pain meds are a-okay by me. I tried natural and then begged for meds--delivery itself was smooth with the pain meds and Lynn was ready--as she wiggled her way into the world with hardly three pushes! I can't believe she is three weeks old today. It feels a lot longer than that! Heehee. I will try to post some pics before she needs to eat again. And I will try to fix the time things at the bottom of this blog as well. Later...

Second doctor visit this week...

2006-08-31T15:55:00.000-04:00

Went to doctors again on Wednesday since my bp was high on Monday. I was so stressed that morning and my feet were a little more swollen than usual. My bp? 120/70. Goes to show ya, stress is not the cause of my bp rising as it does. Dr. figures the practice labor on Monday caused the bp to rise. Did intern exam again and he found I was 1cm dilated--so some progress. So to help things along, he helped separate the sac from the cervix called stripping my membranes. It sounds worse than it really is. I had more cramping last night but they were more of the practicing ones which are different from Brickson Hicks, which have been with me for a while. I am hopeful my body will be ready to deliver--she seems ready at the "door" and knocking often enough! My emotions and energy level was all over the place yesterday, so I believe I have entered a transitional stage of sorts and I need to just keep focused on my body and my baby's needs. My doctor called today to report my urine test came back without signs of protein which is good news. So the waiting continues. Had a friend, Leslie, from work come over today. I talked her ear off--poor thing. I loved the visit though, I really needed the company. And tonight, Cora is coming for dinner and I think the company will be good for both Diana and I. Plus it is fun hearing the news from work. Tomorrow I go to the doctors again for another bp check, so I will keep you updated.

38 weeks today

2006-08-29T08:15:00.000-04:00

Well, it is 38 weeks today and I have started having some prelabor signs. Sunday started cramping a little which lasted a couple of hours and then stopped. Yesterday the cramps came back much stronger and then had contractions with it. The contractions were coming every 7 minutes so we got excited. But they stopped after about 3 hours. Just long enough for us to get excited and work on finishing the packing of the hospital suitcases. Oh well. The practice labor will come and go, but it does mean I am getting closer to starting real labor. I have not dilated yet but am 50% effaced and the baby is engaged in my pelvis already which is a good sign. My blood pressure however has gone back up despite my bed rest--142/82. The doctors warned me that my pressure might go up even on rest. So now there are watching my urine again and I am to go back to the docs on Wednesday to check my blood pressure, labor progress, and results of my blood work. Hopefully, my blood pressure will be normal again and/or I will be in labor within the next couple of days. The waiting just got more interesting!

Still have twigs and now can see veins in my feet!

2006-08-24T19:17:00.000-04:00

As my blood pressure continues to go down with the bed rest, I can now see veins in the top of my feet as the swelling continues to go down. I have lost another 2 lbs between Monday and today. At the doctors, my blood pressure was 110/70--where I normally am. The doctor even said it was lower that hers! Ha! This doesn't mean I can come off bed rest, it just means keeping my feet up is necessary to keeping my pressure down. And I am very happy to do so if it keeps labor and delivery from becoming dramatic and scary. We met yesterday with the Rabbi about the baby naming ceremony and I am so excited about it. The service is beautiful and deeply meaningful. We hope to have it on the eighth day but that will depend on when she arrives. My brackinson hicks (spelling?) contractions are getting stronger and more frequent and today I had minor cramps like a period coming on--these are good signs that the baby will come soon. Don't get too excited--soon equals anything from very soon to a couple of weeks. I am still hopeful for an early delivery as I am eager to meet her face to face.

Good news, bad news, and better news...

2006-08-23T16:25:00.000-04:00

Well, a lot has happened in the last few weeks. My blood pressure was up two weeks ago but as I watched it at work I came back down which I was happy about. But by the following Wednesday, my pressure was back up and I was worried. The doctor made me come back on Friday for another check and to see what my blood tests revealed. The good news during that exam--the baby is doing great. She is still a she and is still head down! Her heart tones are in the health range and she is active as she should be. The bad news is I was put on bedrest on that Friday, the 18th since my pressure was up again 130/88. I have never had the bottom number so high before. It was so hard to go to work and tell everyone and pack some of my things up. My next doctors appointment I was worried about what they would say--my ankles looked good but I was still worried. The better news is my blood pressure was back down to normal 118/70. I also lost 5 lbs of fluid over the weekend too. Amazing. So I am playing in the computer a lot and working on my student's final evaluations from home. It is only 20 days due my due date but I am still hoping to deliver early rather than late. This week, I go again for a check on my pressure come Thursday. I am glad they are being so cautious which is helping me relax and trust that everything will work out. I am okay mood wise and am glad I got clearance to do some small things around the house like the dishes and clothes--meaning I don't have to be off my feet 100% of the time. I am still to be lying down and not active--but being allowed a little bit helps me feel productive around the house. Even when I visit the doctor, I can see how being on my feet for a short time causes them to start swelling again. I look forward to having my body back once she is born on many levels. :) I will try to post pictures later from our last couple of showers, as well as an updated picture of myself.

Almost 35 weeks or 1 month

2006-08-05T20:43:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday, it will be 35 weeks till the due date and by Saturday is will be 1 month. I have been busy with work and the interns for the last month. Plus Diana and I have been busy with classes: childbirth prep, infant CPR, and breastfeeding. We keep working on the baby room and setting g up as much as we can. And we checked at the firehouse on our installation job of the child seat in both our cars. Found we did great with Diana's car but not 100% correct with mine, so we are glad we had them checked by professionals. Tomorrow is my work's baby shower and I am so excited to party with my co-workers! In a couple of weeks is Diana's work baby shower which will also be a blast. It is not the gifts that make it fun--although they often are so cute!--just to be able to celebrate what is happening with my body and how close she is to being born!!

More photos...

2006-07-08T20:54:00.000-04:00

Photo with other preggie cousins

2006-07-08T20:46:00.000-04:00

Here is a picture from White Lake of the three latest preggie women. Clearly I am on the left. Gabs is next to me and her due date is three days after mine! And the last woman is due in two weeks, but getting a scheduled C next week. Gabs and I are experiencing our first pregnancy and for Sari this is her second. We had a lot to talk about which was great fun!

Another preggie picture

2006-07-06T15:49:00.000-04:00

Here's a picture from 6/29/06 that we have been meaning to post. Tummy is getting bigger with that babygirl! I will post ones with me in my bathing suit and with to two other preggie cousins when I get them from family members.

Vacation so far...

2006-07-06T15:28:00.000-04:00

Well, we only have a few days left of vacation. It is amazing how quickly it goes by. Diana and I both did some work today. I am trying to write up notes so that when I need to write up my final evals for my interns I have started something on each one so it wouldn't take me forever. I want to finish them before the baby comes which leaves me only three weeks after the unit stops. Other supervisions generally take longer to get them all done--so I figure I really need to be diligent and focused to accomplish my goal. So I have written quiet a bit for one student so far and then decided to take a computer break. The baby continues to be active and squirming around off and on throughout the day and night. I feel her more at night now than I did in the past. I had a major leg cramps last night, but am glad it was only in one leg and not both like the last time. And I am glad for the long span between the last cramp and this one. I have been taking an extra iron supplement as the blood work showed my iron was low but my sugar was good. So I am glad for not having gestional diabetes! But sad that I have been so tired lately and didn't need to be if I only knew my iron was so low. I have hardly napped at all on vacation since upping my iron. I have even been able to stay up late, which will be difficult to readjust when it is time to go back to work. :) My proposals seem to have been approved at work. I will carry over any vacation days I have left (up to 5). I will take 10 days paid vacation and then the rest of my 6 weeks of leave as unpaid time. The whole fall unit, Sept to December, I will work part-time. This will be difficult financially, but I think I will need to time with the baby before jumping right back into work full-time. Plus I think she will like being taking care of at home better those first few months by Diana and I then the day care center. :) Come Jan, I will return to work full-time and babygirl will attend day care hopefully through Diana's job. The one affiliated with Northside is a little too expensive, so that is our back-up plan. I have enjoyed swimming and using a friend's bathing suit. I enjoy the feeling less of the baby weight when in the water--it is a bit of a drag when I get out and feel how heavy she really is. (She just kicked me as I wrote that--I guess she has something to say about that!) Today is breezy and too chilly to swim, hopefully tomorrow will be warm enough to go in again. Okay--I guess I better go this computer break has been longer than I planned, plus I have to goto the bathroom again. Heehee.

Time is flying by!

2006-06-25T16:16:00.000-04:00

I knew it had been a awhile since I lasted posted, but didn't realize it was a whole month already! I have been very busy with the new intern students of mine. My group of five have been a pleasure and challenge as they went through orientation and worked on settling into the process. I was surprised at how much energy it took from me and how little free time I have at work. Combining this with being 28 weeks pregnant--I have been very tired. I feel fine with the pregnancy overall and have had no new dizzy incidents. Let's see, how can I best update you on the progress. Four weeks ago, started sleeping with a body pillow borrowed from a new mommy friend. Very nice, does limit bed space. Diana is very understanding. :) Three weeks ago, the baby started kicking and punching harder--Diana can feel it much easier. Two weeks ago, the baby moved around much harder and I can see the movement as my stomach moves! Holy mackerel! That is weird! This week, I put on my overall shorts that I previously "swam" in and they now fit with only a little bit of room left. I have expanded more than I realized. Had my 28 week prenatal appointment on Friday. Found out the baby is already head down and will most likely stay that way being my first baby. Took my second basic sugar test as well and haven't heard anything so I am hoping I have passed it again. I was worried my sugar might be off, so I am very happy that I haven't heard from the doctor with bad news. Now we start going to the OB every two weeks. But with vacation, we will put it off until three weeks--it will be at 31 weeks. My weight again has been great and I have gained mostly in my tummy region and look like I have an almost perfectly round basketball. People at work are confused with my not sharing the baby's name, especially the new interns. They are trying to trip me up so I will blurt out the name--very funny! Our showers are coming up soon now. During vacation will be our first with family and friends at White-Lake. I am so excited to see people there and see their amazement in how I look. How exciting. And to swim and have cooler temperatures then down here will be great too. It is often too hot for me and I can't stay outside for long. I think I will try to take MARTA next month but I think August I need to drive myself, it will be too uncomfortable on public transportation for me. People at least are willing to offer their seats to me now. But it is often too crowed and too hot. Plus the walk to and from the station is getting harder on me too. My feet and pelvic bones hurt with too much walking or time on my feet. I am definitely in my last trimester and feeling the effects of being pregnant and in the last stage. I will try to keep you better updated with the progress.

5 1/2 months and cruising along

2006-05-26T19:40:00.000-04:00

Had our 24th week check-up today. Baby's heartbeat around 156--sounds strong! Everything's going well. I have gained more weight than expected the last two weeks, so I will start watching my carbs better again just to be on the safe side. Blood pressure was fine today and no recent dizziness. Work has been going better--less stressful. New interns start on Wednesday so I will get busy soon, but it will be fun and give me energy.

Doing fine.

2006-05-20T15:05:00.000-04:00

I have been fine and enjoying no more overnights. No more dizziness or any other problems. The week has been busy, but I have taken time to rest whenever I needed to. Nothing else special going on. Relaxing this weekend with Diana's student over for lunch and then dinner with co-workers. Tomorrow work in the yard and rest--sounds perfect!

Strangest On-call...

2006-05-12T16:24:00.000-04:00

I wasn't sure what to title this note--I want to draw in the reader but not scare ya to death either. I worked part of my last on-call last night. Around 8 PM, I almost fainted while talking to a patient. After I composed myself and the dizziness and nausea past I went and had my blood pressure checked. It wasn't crazy high, but it was high enough for me to scare me. I have been scoring around 112/60 throughout my pregnancy. At 8 PM, I was 143/73. I had it taken again twice later and it was similar 141/80 and 134/78. I tried to visit another patient call after the dizziness before I got some medical attention--I felt responsible to fulfill my duty. However, I did call my doctor's hotline and my supervisor right after that to find out what to do and get a replacement for me at work. Turns out, my insurance sent me to my own hospital to get checked out by the doc on-call. I didn't need to be admitted but it was weird to feel like as patient in an area I am usually ministering to people in. The doc and nurses were great. Diana met me and took me home since I wasn't sure I should drive at that point. Went to my usual doc this morning instead of work--pressure is back to normal and they said no more on-calls. The whole thing freaked me out a little--I am not used to this new version of me and it's limits (and blessings). Baby is fine, they checked last night and this morning and she is still thumping away.

We are at 22 weeks--almost 5 months!

2006-05-09T08:21:00.000-04:00

Friday is 5 months and we are surprised how much I am showing. I seemed to pop a little more this weekend. My tummy is now bigger than my chest! The babygirl is quite active throughout the day and sometimes I feel her at night. Most days I am happy to be pregnant, a few days I feel slight uncomfortable aspects of pregnancy, and then there are other days I absolutely love being pregnant. I am really falling in love with this baby and am eager too hold her and see her face and kiss her little toes and nose! Time is flying by, so I want to treasure each step of this process. It is easier to not worry as much when I feel her moving around so much now--what a treat for me to feel her move around!

20 week visit went fine

2006-04-26T18:31:00.000-04:00

We had our 4 th prenatal doctor appointment this morning. Everything is going fine. The baby's heartbeat is strong and regular. My weight is good and increasing as it should. The doc approved traveling in July so we feel comfortable making plans for traveling to White Lake this summer. I can't believe how much she moves around when I am sitting down. Since I am 20 weeks, she is already 10 inches long and 10 ounces. It seems that I would have felt her moving before this weekend. We can't wait till Diana can feel her too, but the doc said we have several weeks before that may happen. Drats. Oh well, we will keep trying and hoping. Work is going fine. I have been working on what topics I want to cover during the summer group and the schedule as well. I am also working on making a proposal that supervisors in training be made employees that are eligible for insurance and taxed properly. We shall see what happens!

Things are changing!

2006-04-23T21:06:00.000-04:00

Since Friday, I have had more and more thumping and squirming feelings inside--our baby girl is very active. Today, she is really active. It is so amazing to feel the baby now, it is so weird and wonderful at the same time. This pregnancy thing is really wild and exciting! Our next doctor appointment is Wednesday--we are looking forward to hearing the heartbeat again! And you should see my belly now--I have done well in not gaining too much weight--it is all baby.

Part II: The Trip North to See Family

2006-04-19T11:10:00.000-04:00

The day after getting our good baby news, Diana and I headed up north to see mostly her family and to celebrate Passover. With two seders, a birthday party, and a trip to Connecticut--we stayed up late every night. I therefore had to sleep until 11 AM most of the mornings there since I was up so late for my pregnant self. It was great to see so many of Diana's family, especially her cousins. There is always so much to catch-up on with each other. As for my side of the family--I called my father the week before and he didn't return my call. I called again and then he did call me back. However he was unable to commit to whether he could get together with me or not. So Diana came up with a good plan. She suggested we mail a card to both he and Nancy and see if that helped him make plans. Diana was wondering if it is hard for my father to make plans that aren't normally part of his regular schedule. Why it worked we are not sure, as he doesn't seem to be impaired as much cognitively as we were beginning to think. But nevertheless, we drove up and had a chance to visit with him at his home. He and Nancy built this house a few years ago and I had never seen it before. The house was very nice but it appears like no one lives there as it is not only spotless but void of any personal items or touches. The cats they have even match the entire color scheme of the house. It was weird, really. My father was the same--looks happy enough on the outside but is not easy to engage him deeply or emotionally. Neil and Wendy stopped by which saved the visit and that was when I realized how flat the conversation really had been with my father. We had a great visit with them and then went out to dinner together. My father didn't come with us as he and Nancy had dinner planned already. And frankly it seemed Nancy was staying away until we left. And my father was worried about going against Nancy and coming to dinner with us. It was very strange. The dinner was great as we had a chance to catch up with Neil and Wendy and also time to talk about my father and our weird experiences. Now I know that my father, whom I have known for a while was a narcissist, is married to an even bigger narcissist! This seems like there is justice being served already--and am not sad for him to be miserable with her--he deserves to know what he does to others with his self-centeredness. I didn't have time to see others, (my aunt and uncle, cousins, or friends) like I wanted to during this trip. We hope to be able to travel up again in the summer for a week vacation like usual, but it will depend on how I am feeling and doing with the pregnancy.

Part I: The Results are in!!

2006-04-19T10:50:00.000-04:00

Well, it has taken me some time to update you all. Diana and I were away most of last week and we needed to tell some people the news before we told the whole world. The genetic test results are in--they are great. I am at such low risk of any birth defects that we are skipping the amino test, and I am thrilled with that. Truly, our appointment could have ended with that news and I was so overjoyed I had what I needed already. But the good news continued. We had a long extensive ultrasound where we got to see the baby move around a lot and see all the vital organs working well already. Amazing--we could see different parts of the brain and heart. It was amazing to see the changes that have taken place and how much bigger the baby is. We could see the teeth and little toe bones in the feet! And the gender of the baby....well, I think that they are cautious in giving their opinion when it is not clearly a boy--so since no penis could be seen at different angles and with jiggling the baby around as well--the opinion was the baby is a baby girl! We are thrilled and surprised since the odds were in favor of a boy. In the moment I heard I was both excited and a little sad and I am fairly sure I would have felt the same way no matter what the gender was. I am happy with a healthy baby and either gender brings fun and amazement. And regardless of the gender, the baby will have it's own personality that defies labels--which is wonderful! It has been fun to share the news with family, friends and co-workers as well. I went out and bought two outfits. One was a pink onies and another white with brown outfit. I was a little silly and put one on the front door so Diana would see it when she first came home and the other in the hallway in front of the baby room. I couldn't resist buying something to mark the occasion and found some good bargains at Ross, a local department store.

I think I must look pregnant to strangers now...

2006-04-05T20:38:00.000-04:00

I was wondering if I looked pregnant to people who didn't know I was pregnant--now I know...I stopped at the local food store for what else but ah...food. I asked if the cashier could ring up my water without my having to lift it out of the carriage. This with my appearance seems to have tipped off the bagger that I was pregnant. The bagger take my carriage out to the car and helped me put the bags in the car. How nice! I wasn't expecting the help and don't really need it--except for the 2 1/2 gallon water jugs. How strange. And surprising.

I had BUBBLES!!!

2006-04-05T08:54:00.000-04:00

While sitting and trying to pay attention to a co-worker reading intentions this morning-I became quite distracted with a new sensation. I had bubbles in my tummy that lasted 2 seconds maybe. I don't think I have ever felt that before, so I figure it is the first sign of the baby moving that I have been able to discern. Hey to bubbles!! Go baby, go!

I passed--I am now a Supervisor Candidate

2006-04-02T18:38:00.000-04:00

I will be able to run groups without my supervisor being present in the room. What fun I will have this summer, with my own summer intensive interns! Of course, I will have work to do with coming up with didactics and working on the next step of writing theory papers. But I feel no rush and can spend my days and nights thinking about the group and our baby! In a week and a half we will know where we stand on the genetic testing and the gender of the baby too!

3rd doctor visit

2006-03-29T15:42:00.000-05:00

We loved the doctor we got today. What a difference when you have someone who is confident and comfortable in her own ability--you automatically feel more comfortable. She was very friendly and comfortable with Diana and I. She even had Diana do the doppler thing to find the baby's heartbeat. Diana did great and found it right away and we got to hear it swishing and thumping away!!! I am so glad and relieved. We did the triple screen today and will have genetic testing in two weeks so we are moving along nicely. In a couple of weeks, we hope to know the gender of the baby too!! Now, I can turn my focus to the committee meeting happening tomorrow morning and keep myself calm. I think I will pass but I am still nervous about it. I am thrilled Diana is coming up tonight too to offer her support and backrub if my muscles are all knotted up. My wife is trully so amazing. Thank G-d, she and I found each other when we did--changed my life forever. I couldn't be happier making a baby with her!

Doing fine...

2006-03-23T11:58:00.000-05:00

I am doing fine and thought I just should update everyone. I hate when others don't update their blogs and yet I am just as guility. I feel better--headache was definetly due to allergies and continues to plague me daily. Did I tell you the great bargain I got on Ebay? Well, for $40 including shipping, I found maternity clothes--3 pairs of pants and 8 tops. I am wearing one of the new pairs of pants. They are a little big on me but they won't be for long and they are more comfortable than my usually pants with my "squirt" sticking out of my belly already. It is more noticeable to people at work that I am pregnant. So these days I am happy to be showing and don't feel fat at all. I am also getting excited about my meeting next week. I hope to get the approval to move to the next level in my training and be able to run groups without my supervisor present in the room with me. Very cool if it goes well--that would mean the summer intern group would be my first group! Anyways...I better go, I have a meeting across the street and need to get ready to head over.

Just know I am okay...

2006-03-19T18:06:00.000-05:00

I started to feel sick on Thursday and tried to sleep it away which usually works. I had a very bad headache, sensitive skin and muscle/joint aches. Went to work on Friday morning feeling a little bit better, but it got worse all morning, so I went home early. Slept all afternoon and then felt worse by evening. Finally, I took my temperature and found I was running a low grade fever. Since it didn't seem to be going away, I called the nurse medical line and they told me to take Tylenol and call back if anything got worse or if it stayed the same for several days. I didn't feel good all day Saturday. The pain reliever helped bring down the fever and take away the aches, which I was glad so we didn't have to cancel the game night planned for Diana's birthday. I slept all day, basically--so I was able to have fun with our friends. The pizza and games were fun and I think Diana had a good time. I feel much better today so we went out for breakfast--which was very good. And we strolled around some stores we needed odds and ends at and came home. I read a little and then fell asleep while Diana did some work. All and all a good weekend. I am just so glad to be feeling better and to have the assurance that the low fever should not affect the baby at all. It did scare me a bit but we are good now. No fever since Saturday morning. This week is not too busy for me--the weekend has lots of fun stuff coming up. Although I will be glad to get my haircut on Thursday. The weekend plans include brunch with Diana's cousin and then baptism at our friends house. Fun! Fun!

Just Quick Update

2006-03-16T08:48:00.000-05:00

Nothing new to report. Baby is growing and making my tummy pop out quite a bit. I needed to start wearing my maternity pants this week and all my shirts untucked as well. I am 14 weeks now or 3 1/2 months along. It feels so slow day by day and yet also feels like it is moving so quickily--I am afraid it will be over too soon. I want to enjoy each aspect of the pregnancy. My anxiety is lessened which helps me enjoy the pregnancy more. I am excited about Diana's birthday celebration this weekend and then on Monday her actually birthday as well. Talk with you soon!

2nd prenatal appointment

2006-03-08T16:23:00.000-05:00

Well, my iron level is good which is great. I took the glucose test today since I have the insulin resistance thing going to keep a check on my sugar levels. It wasn't as bad as I expected. The mid-wife seems better on the phone than in person. She really wasn't bad today--I just find these appointments to be somewhat frustration when I hope for them to be so meaningful. We were hoping to hear the heartbeat and we did for 5 seconds before the peanut moved. The little sweetpea won't sit still long enough for us to get another listen. That was disappointing to me. Then she pulled out the ultrasound but she really isn't good with it and then had an allergy attack--so we got a quick look and then it was over. Oh, well...I am struggling with my anxiety and wanting to believe the baby will be okay. I was hoping the doctor's visit would help reduce my anxiety. But it didn't really help much, expect she did seem to understand it and talked to us a bit about it. We go again in three weeks for the triple screening test, so the time will go by quickly. I want to enjoy the pregnancy more than I have lately, but sounds like it won't happen till we know the baby has no birth defects. We will know that after our visit on week 18 with the perinatologist.

Feeling better now that 2nd trimester is here

2006-03-04T11:11:00.000-05:00

I am less nauseous for the past week, which is wonderful. I really have been lucky my "morning sickness" hasn't been that bad to begin with. I am still sleepy a lot but also not as bad as a couple of weeks ago. Diana is home from the latest conference and we plan on doing some yard work. Although, I feel sleepy after a big breakfast. :) Maybe later I will nap. We hope to go window shopping this weekend for baby things. And the next highlight is Wednesday we have our 2nd prenatal doctor visit and hope the heartbeat is audible! Anyways...I am off to get ready to go work in the yard now...I want to enjoy the sun and 60 degree temps--we haven't seen the sun on a weekend for weeks now. Plus I want to check out that huge bunny that is sitting in our backyard sunning itself!

Here's a good look at the baby.

2006-03-01T18:12:00.000-05:00

It's amazing to see the bones of the face and the spine too. Those white patches are hands and knees! How adorable!!

Preparing for the 2022?

2006-02-27T18:06:00.000-05:00

We got a good look at our next ultrasound on Friday, the 24th. The baby is already 44mm long and has a heartbeat of 163! Not only that--the baby has jumping around in his/her water bubble! Is this a gymnast in the making? It was amazing to see the pulsing umbilical cord just above the baby's body as well. I love ultrasounds--they are hard to see anything it at first, but then it becomes clear. We could see the baby's face, spine, little legs and arms moving about. And tomorrow is the beginning of week 12 and we enter the second trimester--how exciting!

Told the news to my father

2006-02-08T17:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I decided it was time to try to call my father to let him know about the baby. I wasn't sure what would happen, since when I call and leave a message--he doesn't usually call me back. But surprisingly, he did just a few minutes after I left him a message. So I told him that come September, he will be a grandfather. He was surprised and then wanted to know who was carrying the baby. He also was surprised to hear it was me. It was good to talk with him--I think that last time we talked was on Father's Day. I was glad to hear that he was excited about it and thought it was important enough to write down. It is also good to know he is trying new things to help with his memory. It will be interesting to see if he wants to come visit when the baby is born--I can't even guess what he will want to do.

We seem to have a verdict from today's look

2006-02-06T17:28:00.000-05:00

Well, we had our first prenatal appointment today. Although we were not impressed with the midwife, the appointment was good. The baby that was only 5mm two weeks ago is now a whopping 22mm--almost an inch! And the other possibilities, well seem to be gone as best as we could see today. So, we are indeed having one healthy baby, which is great news! We are not having twins or triplets which is good news as the dangers would be very high for me and the babies too. It is also a little sad as it was fun to daydream about having more than we ever expected. But overall, we are relieved. We were not sure how we could swing having three kids so quickly and me having to miss work before the birth and for some time after the birth. Last week, it was hard to feel connected to the baby(ies) as I wasn't clear who was inside growing. Now it will be easier to focus on just our one peanut. Pregnancy symptoms: desire for milk--alot, some nausea, very tired, bloated, and did I mention tired?!

Interesting news

2006-01-23T17:26:00.000-05:00

The ultrasound was amazing this morning. The baby's heart beat could be seen and even counted! I am amazed that at this early stage to be able to see the baby's heart as a flicker on the screen. 136 beats which is great! Now the weird part and this is the part we are not telling everyone but I need to talk about it somewhere. We knew there was a possible second follicle when I ovulated, but weren't sure it was a healthily one. Well, in today's ultrasound we could see two sacs. One clearly had what is called a fetal pole and the strong heart beat. The other was harder to see as it is behind the other sac. So we couldn't see the flicker long enough to see if it really is there and beating properly. The waiting will be hard. I don't know if we can be excited about having twins or not, since we don't know it that second sac is viable and my next ultrasound will be two weeks from now. More waiting. I think this might be a pattern this waiting stuff. Oh, and the real kicker. That second sac has two yolks in it as well. The fetus lives off a yolk sac until the placenta is ready. So that twin b might be twins themselves which would make me having triplets not just twins. :) Oh, my gawd--can you say it with me--oh, my gawd! So Diana and I are trying to not get ahead of ourselves, because jumping from one baby to three is a huge leap. There is a high chance the twin b (which might be twins in of itself) will not be viable and will vanish before the next ultrasound. It we can be healthy, me and the babies we are game for anything (with God's help). Remember how I couldn't tell if the baby wanted to be called sweetpea or peanut? Well, maybe now we know. And when I posted this morning before the test, I thought about squirt as another possible name--so who knows-0-maybe we will have a sweetpea, peanut, and a squirt!! Oye!!

Ho, hum...I'm sooo tired.

2006-01-23T07:34:00.000-05:00

I worked an overnight last night and was busy during the night. Only 3 hours of sleep! Yuck!!! I can't wait to get home to crash and sleep the day away. The good thing is before I sleep there is the stop at the docks office to get an ultrasound and see the little sweetpea or peanut. We might even be able to see the heart beating at this point too! That is way cool! I'll post later when I am up to it what the news is for the day. P.S. Take note of the countdown at the bottom of my blog too if you haven't seen it yet.

Things still going well

2006-01-20T18:11:00.000-05:00

I am sorry I haven't written much for the past week and some. I have been busy at work with overnights and presentations too. As far as the pregnancy--I am feeling pretty good. Less gas and bloating--which is nice. No stomach sickness only very light nausea when my stomach is empty and it is the middle of the night. So the only troubling side effect is the sleepiness. I am usually fine with it, until overnights mess with my night sleep. So the last few nights I have had trouble falling asleep. Very frustrating. The good part is next month I won't be on many overnights and can get back to a normal routine. Sunday night I am on-call again which I am not happy about, but Monday we get our first ultrasound and hope to see the baby's heartbeat! Yippee!

Continued good news...

2006-01-11T11:43:00.000-05:00

Well, I took my second blood test yesterday to check on the HCG levels. I am well within the healthy range so the seedling is doing fine as best as we can tell so early. I am only 5 weeks preggie. Next week or so, we will get our first ultrasound to see how the little sweetpea is settling up shop which will be very exciting. I am so sleepy today as I was wake for quite a bit in the middle of the night last night. I can't wait to take a nap in the backroom after lunch. I am working on-call tonight so I need to try to get rest before everyone else leaves the hospital and I am the only one here to cover anything that comes up. I hope the night will be boring so I can rest and not be worried about running around the halls all night. I am still very excited and am still at times unbelieving that I am pregnant--what an amazing process this is to have a little person inside of me and yet it is only the size of a sesame seed! Later it will be a million times that and running round talking, walking, driving, working....I am getting ahead of myself now. :) Anyway...I should eat lunch now. Talk with you soon.

THE Call finally came!

2006-01-04T21:08:00.000-05:00

Just before noon, I got the call we are pregnant. We are only 4 weeks so it is very early. Next week I will have another blood test to confirm the baby is growing as it should. And then in a week or so from then--I can get my first ultrasound to be sure baby is in the right place. The news is still sinking in and we are amazed. We are very thankful and feel very fortunate to have made it to this stage. Happy New Years! Here is the picture of the unrine test kit with the "pregnant" phrase you might be able to see, our pregnancy calender, our first baby stuffed animal, and our baby' first knitted hat too! Now you can see how silly we were this morning!

Still waiting but have some good news...

2006-01-04T08:55:00.000-05:00

It's before 9 AM and I am crazy with waiting for THE phone call to tell us the results of the blood work. In the meantime, I said I had some good news. Diana and I did another home test this morning and it still read "pregnant". We will post a picture later. I know it is silly--should have seen us running around trying to find the camera at 6:30 this morning. :) We are goofy right now. Hopefully soon, I will post again with more info.

Very interesting news....and more waiting

2006-01-03T13:38:00.000-05:00

Well, Diana and I were told we had to wait until Monday before we could get a blood test to see if I was pregnant or not. Of course with the holiday, the lab was closed and Tuesday would be the first day to get blood work done. And we were told not to do a home test until Wednesday since I had the hormone shot. Well, my cramps were so strange as I mentioned in the previous blog, that we decided to do a home test and we understand there was a higher chance of getting a fake positive. We figured if the test was negative, then I really wasn't pregnant and could stop the hormone and my period could then start. (I hope you all can follow this logic of ours). Anyway, the test was "positive", we didn't chance anything and tried to remember that it could be a false positive as it was earlier than we were instructed to try. This morning it was also "positive", we decided to do some research on-line and to get the blood work done today afterall. The results won't be known until tomorrow. The internet talked about being able to test by day 14 after the shot, which was on Sunday. The clinic we work with seems to be conservative in their advice, so we are hopeful right now. Actually, I haven't been able to get much done at work since I went for the blood work and even Diana was been quite silly as well. We even looked up when the possible due date might be--how silly of us!! And the funny this is, my cramps are better today. I am still having weird pains and tightness in my stomach, but not as bad the cramping--so weird. Diana found someone in her office who had a similar experience thinking she wasn't pregnant since she was cramping like with PMS. So tomorrow, I have warned my supervisor--I may be flying on the ceiling or laying low on the floor depending on the test results. I can't help but get excited at the possible news.

New Year and a new look!

2006-01-02T14:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I decided on a whim to change the look of the blog. I am at work once again while everyone else gets to be home playing. So I am playing at work. I have the phones in case there is an emergency and am letting Karen get some sleep--too bad she is sick with cold too. I have paperwork to do but am having much more fun changing my page around. I am still have cramps which started last week, so I don't think I am pregnant. The problem is the hormones I am taking in case I am keep my period from coming and I can't test until Wednesday to see if I am pregnant or not to then stop the pills. So I am stuck in perpetual PMS for a few more days. Yuck. And the hormones, make my period heavier and the cramps too. I would love to take Advil, but can't in case I am with baby. See the lovely cycle I am stuck in. :( Oh well. I worked overnight again last Friday night. I had three baby losses and one very premature baby be born. The three losses were 6, 12 and 26 weeks along. The premie was breach and 23.4 weeks along. I am amazed the baby is still alive today, but he is so far. I was thrilled to be able to go into the OR to watch him being born--very cool even with all the complications. My first time in the OR and first time watching a baby be born. I am so tired from 3 overnights in a 1 1/2 weeks and traveling during the holidays too. I can't wait until I feel caught up. But I have another overnight this Saturday, so I am figuring the catching up won't come anytime soon. Oh well, by the weekend I will either be happily pregnant or done with my period and drinking wine again. :) Talk with you soon I hope. And don't be shy--leave a comment.

Hi ho, hi ho...

2005-12-21T21:42:00.000-05:00

I am at work--all night tonight. I hope for a restful night but ya never know what you'll get. I am tired already at 9:30 PM, so I think I will watch a little TV and then try to fall asleep soon. I hope I can rest there is so much I need to do when I get off work before catching our flight to NY. I haven't packed, will need to shower, etc! It will all work out one way or another. :) So I wish you all a wonderful Winter Solstice, a Merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, and an amazing Kwanzaa! I'll be back before New Years...see ya!

Yeah...we got our wish!

2005-12-20T21:46:00.000-05:00

Both yesterday and today we were able to inseminate. The follicle was gone as expected this morning so we are hopeful that at the very least we are on the right track again. Went to acupunture again today and I still love it. I think that has made all the difference in my ability to ovulate. Diana and I did Christmas and Hanukkah presents today which was fun since tomorrow night I am working overnight and then we fly to NY come Thursday night. Fun, fun!!!

Ahhh...some hope.

2005-12-18T17:24:00.000-05:00

Well, my ovaries look better this month which is great news. The right ovary has never shown any follicle activity till today. The ultrasound shows much less cysts as well as an almost ripe follicle. So I did the shot to push it to be ready for insemination tomorrow and hopefully Tuesday as well. We haven't been able to inseminate for the last two months so this is a real relief to us and we have hope again. Whether it is the diet, the pills, the tea or the acupunture--I am glad they are working and making a change in my body.

Oh fun quiz--I knew I was young at heart!

2005-12-14T21:12:00.000-05:00

***You Are 29 Years Old*** Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. What Age Do You Act? http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/

Snow!!!

2005-12-03T10:49:00.000-05:00

Diana and I are in upstate NY visiting friends of ours and I am totally enjoying the snow! Actual, I can't write much now, cuz I need (want) to go outside and help shovel the snow so we can go out and get a christams tree!! Yohooo!! What fun!

Better place

2005-11-19T12:22:00.000-05:00

I am at a better place these past couple of days. Last night, Diana surprised me with having friends meet us at the bowling alley for a belated birthday party. What fun! It was great to see Shirley, Cora, Karen, and Bones. I even had my best game ever with a score of 145--printer was broken so I have no proof other than my word and Diana will vouch for me too, of course. :) Diana is still sick, so we are taking it easy this weekend and cleaning up so the house is ready for company and the cleaning crew.

Roller coaster continues

2005-11-17T21:05:00.000-05:00

Well, I was starting to feel better and that my mood was effected by PMS and my accepting that I will have a hard time getting pregnant and that I need to face that I am not as healthy as I used to be naturally/without effort. I guess it was a little bit like an early mid-life crisis--I say that jokingly, but it was about facing my own mortality. With PCOS, I am at high risk for developing diabetes, miscarriage, heart attack, etc. There is no reason to feel that I WILL have any of that, but I need to care for myself better through my diet and exercising. I need to work on those issues also if I want to become pregnant--so it is a win-win situation. So...why are some days still blue days--this week has been really hard. I am doing better with the healthy eating, but was disappointed this week when I didn't ovulate one good size follicle and couldn't inseminate this month again. And I did take that step over a week ago and called my father, and then called him again this past Monday--to which he has not called me back. Sunday was also my birthday--I have not heard from him about that either. I wish it didn't bother me that he didn't send a card or call--but it does. I wish I didn't want to see him at Christmas, but I do and will (want to)--and it is hard to accept that he doesn't want to see me. My in-laws, my aunt and uncle, and friends in CT are great in being supportive and caring--and I am very thankful for having them in my life. Anyways...I guess a have a few things going on that have me a little blue. The pregnancy thing I will keep working on and I am trying accupunture next week to help with that. My father--I will deal with my feelings and make decisions when I am ready about how much will I continue to try to keep connected to him. And everything else is really going fine--work, the house, my beautiful wife--all good. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to feel better and more grounded again in myself and my life with Diana. Hope you are doing okay too.

A bit down these days...

2005-11-02T11:17:00.000-05:00

I don't know know if it is PMS, the fall, feeling old, or plain old not feeling well from the meads and diet changes--I is not a very happy camper right now. I am sick of wheat and feeling sick to my stomach or hanging out in the bathroom more than I care to be. I think I have been obsessed with this diet thing and need to back off a bit. I am driving myself crazy. I am feeling very old with my knees of late. I did goto the doctor and had x-rays, turns out it is not my ligament like I assumed but that my knee cap doesn't track right and is grinding and pulling the muscles in odd ways. Indeed that explains my pain under the cap and all the muscles around. It has gotten to the point where I can't cross my legs it hurts too much and I have pain throughout the night. I have to either sleep on my back or stomach to have my knees straight so they don't hurt as much to sleep. Well, that alone could explain my feeling cranky--continual pain will bring it out in anyone! Anyway, I goto physical therapy tomorrow night and I hope they teach me how to tape my knee to relieve pain and allow me to exercise it properly. And then Friday night I am on-call. Ugh. I already feel wiped out and am worried my knee pain will be worse after pt. to be on my feet extra the next day. I hope it is not a busy night and I can rest it. We do have fun plans this weekend with people from Diana's job, game night. But then I am helping with a memorial service at the hospital, which is not so fun. I will need to cook something up to have fun with after that service before the weekend is over. And the following weekend is my birthday. Which I have mixed feelings about. At least I didn't get a card from my father saying happy belated birthday, uh two weeks early. Maybe this year he will remember when I was born correctly. Or who knows, maybe he wouldn't remember it at all--hard to say. I need to call him and see if we can hook up when we are next in town. I keep putting it off as it can be painful for me to try to connect and not have it work out. I will work up the courage soon. Maybe even today.

Happy Halloween!!! Oooooooh!

2005-10-30T20:39:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween! Here's Diana and my handiwork for your enjoyment. Looks great outside and the seeds came out wonderful.

Sugar busters and meds...

2005-10-17T15:33:00.000-04:00

Well, no follicle this month--so we can assume the meds I was on to help with ovulation weren't enough. Therefore we are now onto new things. A diet to reduce sugars and bad carbs which get turned into sugar and medication to get rid of those pesky cysts on the ovaries. I didn't realize how much carbs I eat and like until I started to pay attention to cut them down as much as possible. I am wimpy when it comes to changing my food. I like so little to began with, it is hard to make changes and cut things out. I will do what I can and see what happens. The weather is great here right now. I spent time outside this weekend, still mowing the lawn and picking up leaves everywhere. Spent two hours and had to stop my back was killing me. The yard looks better, so I am happy. Went shopping after visiting a friend at Super Target!!! Ooooooh, very nice. Very big store! We shan't go there often, spent too much. :) Love ya all--chat later.

Week is not as busy as we hoped...

2005-10-08T07:44:00.000-04:00

Well, the week has been busy work wise and emotionally with taking in the feedback from the consultation and work-related issues. But here it is Saturday morning--had hoped to be ready for insemination today, but haven't scored higher than low fertility so far on the monitor. I wonder if I will ovulate at all this month. If nothing happens by Monday, I will go in for an ultra sound and see if there is any follicles or not. I could be running later than the past few months--we hope. Other interesting news--I have been willing and even brain-wise able to play Scrabble lately--much to my wife's delight. The handicap points help me (sometimes) feel like I am not lost in her dust :)

Monday went well

2005-10-04T05:45:00.000-04:00

Except for the fact that it is 5:46 AM and I have been up since 4, I am fine. Yesterday the consultation went fairly well. I realized part of the way through that I was doing okay and handling their questions fine. I didn't always agree, but was able to say that without getting defensive. I usually struggle with getting defensive and did a great job not going there this time. They gave good feedback both in affirming my abilities and in tips in how to read something clearer. So all in all a good trip. Just wish I could get my brain to stop trying to process it over and over. I need to sleep to be able to be conscious in services today.

Good news...

2005-09-30T14:13:00.000-04:00

Well went to the doc today to check on my ovaries. There is no cysts this month--which is very good news. I still have the poly-cyst thing going--but there is no large one that will confuse us later when we are looking for a follicle. So now we wait for the ovulation test to say I am at peak and we try again. Will be at least 8 more days before that. In the meantime, I have work things to focus on. I go before a committee for consultation about my process in the training to be a supervisor program on Monday in South Carolina. Tuesday will be celebrating the New Year with Diana in synagogue--which is very cool service. And then late in the week insemination time. So I have a busy week coming up and in between will clean house, yard, and paint more too. Busy, busy. I will also enjoy some wine! But not whine! :)

News...

2005-09-28T15:17:00.000-04:00

Well, I waited to be sure but the verdict is in very clear--not pregnant. My period did start today and the urine tests before all said nope. So I was upset over the weekend and took yesterday off from work--called it a mental health day--and feel much better now. I actually feel more optimistic about future tries and believe I will get pregnant soon. So I will finish painting our bedroom, which I started and didn't finish the trim from last summer. And I will enjoy a little wine and diet soda for another two weeks. .......On a totally different subject. I must say we love the new Showtime show--"Weeds"--so funny. I will miss Queer as Folk and 6 Feet Under. But love the line-up on Showtime. Huff, Weeds, L Word--are all great! I am also giving House a try and will try the Commander In Chief to see what that is like too. I love to see what a woman in office might be like and I love Donald Sutherland as well.....But with the cooler weather coming this weekend--I will love being outside and doing yard work and not worrying about passing out from the heat and humidity. :)

Another month goes by...

2005-09-22T19:30:00.000-04:00

Well, I didn't get pregnant last month. It was harder than we expected to hear that news and we have been less excited about this month's try since we hated the big let down. This month brought interesting twists as I had a cyst in the beginning and we weren't sure if was the cyst still or a new follicle that showed up in the ultrasound when it was time to inseminate. We hoped for the best and inseminated that one day. We came back the next day and did another ultrasound to see if the "circle" was still there. If it was in the same place, then we won't inseminate and we would continue to believe it was the cyst--which would complicate my process a lot. We were lucky, it was gone and we are assumed it was a follicle and we tried insemination again on that day. So....now we wait. I can't tell much since the hormones they put me on to build up the lining in my uterus causes similar side effects as pregnancy brings on--if what I feel is from the pills or from a developing baby. I sure am crabby and have some mood swings this time. Less gas, which I am happy about. It is weird to get excited about feeling nauseous in the middle of a meeting or walking through the food area at work! Other not so disconnected news, Diana and I bought a new mattress for our bed. I felt like my back hurt every morning for a while now. So we took the plunge and bought a mattress. Boy are they expensive. I also figure we will need it with us both trying to get pregnant for the next couple of years. It is so comfortable--now I am going to really hate working overnight at the hospital and sleeping on the lumpy couch! Oh well...I will let you know next week whether the test shows we are pregnant or not. If "No", then we will try again with me and see what happens. Keep those prayers and well wishes coming.

I am the gas queen.

2005-08-21T16:19:00.000-04:00

I never thought I would be the gas queen. I burp day and night right now. Very long burps too. The progesterone I am taking is making me very burpy and crampy. I hope the spermies did a good job and found the egg or this is just tortuous to be on the hormones and trying to build up the lining of my uterus for nobody. We don't care what the sex is most of the time, but have moments dreaming about a boy and then about a girl. Girl names have been easier to come up with some we like, boys have been harder but we finally got a few we like. We won't share the names until the naming ceremony or the bris seven days after birth--so don't ask--we won't tell. :) I have been good about drinking more water and Diana carried in the heavy groceries today, just in case I shouldn't lift too much. I don't know when I am supposed to start avoiding things but am trying to be good. So now I won't drink the diet soda I had switched to to reduce the empty calories--I wish Coke would make a diet with Splenda that was also caffeine free. And I wish other diet sodas were made with Splenda. Anyway...it will be over a week before we know if the insemination "took" or not, so in the meantime we are trying to keep busy without being baby obsessed--I don't think it is working. :)

Spermies! How fun!

2005-08-15T18:35:00.000-04:00

Hey, I know it has been forever since my last post. I certainly have been overwhelmed by groups both observing and being involved in them. Everyday all summer I have been in at least one group and sometimes at least two. I have felt mostly brain-dead by the afternoon and trying to do paperwork. So now that the groups are over it was nice to stroll around upstairs on my floors and visit with patients and staff too. Very cool. But the coolest thing is the title above. I completed the medical tests needed and we picked a great sperm donor. Diana and I actually had the little critters placed in me over the weekend and now we wait and see if they found the surprise egg hiding in the tube! We are not sharing it with lots of people yet--but yeah I figure if you are still checking to see if there is new news on this blog--you deserve to know! So we should know something by the end of August. We will either be getting geared up to do it again in Sept. or jumping for joy that I am pregnant. What an amazing process. Diana (and I) will make a great mom and I can't wait. I have mostly finished painting the baby room and she is willing to finish it if I do get pregnant right away. If we aren't and need to try again next month, then I will finish painting and be able to have diet soda and wine again for 2 weeks. (The wine and soda are not to be consumed together in the same glass, in case you were wondering. :) I will update y'all soon as we know.

Happenings

2005-06-18T21:42:00.000-04:00

I have been so busy with the start of my next level of training. I spent hours observing the new interns and then hours in my own groups. I hardly have time to visit patients. As strange as that is, it has been nice to add something different to my schedule. And then on a personal note--Diana and I are busy searching for the right donor and I am completing on the medical tests. I have health eggs--Yahoo! Now waiting for the next tests to come back and we shall see what happens!

Almost done with this past unit...comes summer

2005-05-16T21:53:00.000-04:00

Hopefully I am just about done with my final evaluation for the last unit of CPE. I can't wait to be done with it and have the pressure of getting it ready over. But then I am leaving for NY as gram is not doing well and is in the processing of dying. I respect the decisions she has made and pray for her to be at peace. The family has been great gathering around her so much. Diana has been there for a few days and I miss her like crazy--but am so glad she has had the chance to be at gram's bedside. So I will whisk away tomorrow to join the family as well for the rest of this week. The summer unit doesn't start until the 31st. The interns I will be observing start the week before and I get to do some of the orientation with them which I enjoy--so that is good. The baby stuff will be on hold for a bit, but we will reschedule it soon.

Too long between posts--sorry

2005-05-08T17:32:00.000-04:00

These past few weeks have been so busy. Today is my third on-call at the hospital in 8 days!! I am so tired I slept through the noon service I was supposed to lead. Yikes!! I can't wait until my overnights slow down to barely at all. My mind, body and relationships suffer. My dog is alone at home and my wife comes back from a conference to be alone without me still. I tried to switch, but being Mother's Day nobody wanted to be here. So I have to wait another 24 hours before I can see my wife. I miss her--she is wonderful. I know, I know--so sappy. I am allowed since it hasn't even been a year yet since we married. :) Anyways...not much else to say. I hope to get to the grass and flower garden tomorrow after work and the doctors. The weeds are starting to get as big as the flowers and that can't be good. :)

Out of sorts

2005-04-11T15:56:00.000-04:00

I am a bit out of sorts today at work. Gram is in the hospital and we were stressed yesterday at how badly she was doing. Today is a better day for her and I am very thankful. I am working overnight tonight--so I am tired and don't want to be here. I am hoping for a slow night and maybe Diana can visit and bring me healthy dinner. Otherwise I will go to MickeyDee's for sure. I hear the fries and hot fudge sundae calling!! I realized today that I have not been to a funeral since my mother's and it is easier personally to be in the hospital dealing with other's experiences of death--and being able to walk away from the situation in an hour or so. I guess that is normal, but I dislike the feeling nonetheless. I took a nap and hope that helps my mood, otherwise it is better for me to not visit patients unless necessary. I will miss her when it is time for her to transition from this life. She is an amazing woman and the generations that come from her are as well. I was reflecting on how beautiful the whole family is and I was in awe of her descents. I am proud to be in this family.

Water can be deadly..

2005-03-31T17:26:00.000-05:00

But more importantly, may Terri rest in peace finally. And may the other residents at that hospice, briefly freely now that there wouldn't be crowds outside fighting for someone else's life. I am so thankful we have hospice programs that care and understand that end of life care is not abandonment or neglect but is just that "care". I also want to say to those 48 or so people who were trying to get in and save Terri's life by bringing her water--ah, get a life. If by some awful error of security you did manage to get inside to give that water, please know since she can't swallow--you would have killed her. So mind your own business in places you don't understand what is happening. And I urge everyone--make out a Living Will--so no matter where you fall on the side of this type of ethical dilemma--your wishes will be known and followed.

How do they do that?

2005-03-27T21:35:00.000-05:00

Okay...I have given up and am asking for help in formatting these blogs. I have found other blogs that I enjoy and want to list them down the side, like other sites do--but I haven't a clue how to do that. I enrolled in Blogrolling, or whatever it is called but that didn't do what I thought it might. I am feeling old right now. The young ones are running circles around me with this Blog thing! Yikes...I am getting old. (sigh).

More of the same...

2005-03-22T11:44:00.000-05:00

1. First off some more good news. This past weekend, we were trilled to spend time catching up with folks in CT. Tow of them were pregnant women. The one was starting to have contractions and I knew it wouldn't be long before the little boy would decide to start the next phase of life. And so today we heard--little Athan (Ethan with an A) entered into this world on Sunday afternoon in the afternoon. He is healthy and well and nothing else matters!! 2. Second...bad news...I am still distressed by the state of our nation that is involving itself with the Terri S. situation. I truly pray for our nation, courts, and hospitals that wisdom and compassion surround and fill us wholly in this time. Let the woman die with dignity, please. Enough is enough. Life is more than limbic brain spasms. Medicine is a wonderful gift of wisdom and skill. Its can also be torturous and misguided. Political circles have enough they have to attend to without getting involved in something like this. And where is the justice in singling out this one woman. If we (they) are so concerned about life and death issues than focus on the bigger picture and really make changes. This is not the answer or the manner in which to make public policy. A fellow chaplain stated that he finds it very odd that G.W. Bush who is rallying for this one woman and her "right" to life; is the same man who has the record of number of inmates executed while he was in the governor's office. The two differences in behavior are something to take note of. His involvement is not due to his concern with this woman's situation. And therefore he needs to excuse himself and keep on with his vacation plans. Thank you very much. And on other sad news....more sorrow in this world with the shootings at the high school in Red Lake, Minn. Too much suffering for a community of people already fighting injustice every day. My heart is touched by their sorrow, which is greater than this shooting incident which has brought them to our attention. Let us not forget all the pain they have endured as Native Americans.

Happy News and Distressing News

2005-03-21T09:29:00.000-05:00

My Happy News is about our weekend trip--we had such a good trip to the northeast. Seeing friends and family and enjoying northern food was wonderful. Our friends wedding reception was also great fun and it was good to see Diana's old co-workers. Lots of pregnant ladies to chat about their journey with too!! Distressing News...the news of the day I find very distressing. What makes our president think he needs to be involved in the situation in Florida. It is bad enough to have his brother Jeb sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. Here's the news quote..."Bush had cut short a Texas vacation and flown back to Washington to be available for an immediate signing. "Today, I signed into law a bill that will allow federal courts to hear a claim by or on behalf of Terri Schiavo for violation of her rights relating to the withholding or withdrawal of food, fluids, or medical treatment necessary to sustain her life," Bush said in a written statement. " What happened to ethics consultations happening inside the hospital and not in our congressional settings. I rather trust doctors and other medical professionals to understand ethical situations than our elected officials. Please, involving them is a recipe for destruction and abuse.

Great news and point of frustration too.

2005-03-15T11:46:00.000-05:00

Well, as some of you already know. I was accepted into the S.I.T. (supervisory in training) program. Although I finally cleared this hurdle, what is brings me are just more of the same type of hurdles for the next 3-5 years. But the process has begun which is great! As the staff here figure and plan, I will know how my work load will change and the overall plan of things. But for now they are busy with other immediate things and won't start planning until next week sometime. My frustration comes from the director on my site that has yet to acknowledge my acceptance. I am trying hard to not take it personally and remember the reading I have been doing in the Four Agreements and that agreement #2 is don't take anything personally. Well said Don Miguel Ruiz!! Now I just need to practice it more. I will be in CT this coming weekend and am trying to line up visits with as many friends and family as possible. So I may be contacting you shortly to make plans--forgive the last minute, please. I gave my father time to respond to me before asking others about their availability. That is always a mistake, but I felt as though it was the right thing to do. He is busy and unable to see me and hopes the next time I pass through we can meet. I must tell you I have not seen or spoken with him directly on the phone since July 11, 2004--my wedding day. We have left messages but never reach each other. I am very disappointed and saddened by this. My boss can be fatherly in more than one way. And I don't appreciate being treated as though I didn't matter or that I am invisible either. Shame on you Geoff and Gene, my boss. I am better than that. :) I look forward to being back in CT and seeing people and having good pizza again!!

Today is just another day at the office...

2005-03-11T06:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, today is important and my meeting is still on . The meeting is the last step at my local center in the interviewing for Supervisory in Training. I won't know whether I am excepted until the 23rd of March. So the process lingers more and more. And so to help me relax and not get defensive I am trying to treat today and the meeting as nothing special and be grounded. I am more there than full of anxiety so it is working a little bit and I will just keep focusing until my meeting is over. :) Tell ya all more later.

A week already...???

2005-02-27T03:27:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I haven't written in a whole week. This on-call I am now has been very busy all day. The night is better so far--but I woke up after only 3 hours sleep and can't seem to go back to sleep. So I got up and wrote up my reports and are playing now on the internet. Now that I am in the 2 educational unit of the year--we have changed groups and all my group learnings and process is with the other 2nd year residents. And it is much better!! I enjoy the lectures again and am learning. I love my three students as well and they are doing well so far. Soon I will hear if and when I will be entered into the supervisory in training program officially. It better be good news or I will feel my time has been wasted here. I will be surprised if they don't except me--I am just worried they may say let's wait a little or go super slow. The 11th will be the big day of knowing--I hope it isn't put off any longer. I am off now to brush my teeth and face the units again to check on a few patients--and hopefully than I can sleep again for a bit.

Big Plans today and I am working out my decision

2005-02-19T10:44:00.000-05:00

Ohhhh....we are going to see Sweet Honey In The Rock today with co-workers. I can't wait to see them and enjoy their music. The other item is I finally started preparing for baby and getting healthier in general as well. I have put on more weight since the wedding even and it doesn't make me happy. So...I am finally mentally geared up to start working on it. Taking vitamins, drinking more water, less soda and less sugared soda too. We will go exercise this weekend as well. And I am taking my temperature daily to help get ready for possible insemination this summer. Next week I will call to get an appointment for a yearly exam and whatever else needs to happen. What fun!!

Love Thursdays!!

2005-02-17T15:40:00.000-05:00

I just finished with my 3 practicum students and another lecture/orientation session with them. I love it. They are eager and ask good questions. I can't wait till next week and see what happens when they begin visiting patients and have examples they can relate to. I wasn't sure how much I would love teaching--now I know it makes a huge difference for me in loving my job as well. What fun!!

See bald can work!

2005-02-15T20:34:00.000-05:00

Good for her--Melissa Etheridge showed that bald can be absolutely stunning. She looked great and sounded amazing at the Grammy's. Way to go girl! And love that the Christian rap artist who walked away with 3 awards and performed live as well. Very cool. I also wanted you all to know I fired my therapist as for my 3rd session, she cancelled my appointment because she got too busy being away the following week. Say what? Done with you and on to find another. And I wasn't sure if I was being too hard on her. :) I have posted here and it got lost and then I get frustrated and don't try for a bit. I will keep at it so don't go away disappointed just yet. Luv ya!

Thoughts..

2005-02-09T15:38:00.000-05:00

The weather this past weekend was wonderful. I finally had some time to work on cleaning up the branches knocked down by the ice storm and the recent rain storm. Diana and I gave Doc a hair cut with clippers and he is a little funny looking with his hair not all the same level anymore. Oh well, hopefully we will get better with practice. It helps save money, but Diana won't let me clip my hair top save even more money. I guess I should be glad she is looking out for my best interest. Who knows what I would look like bald anyway?! Back to Law and Order...

Some interesting news I found today...

2005-02-05T11:12:00.000-05:00

...Psychology Today had a short story about people who are sleep deprived are fatter. There is some correlation to appetite, cravings, and lack of sleep. And I wondered why I was gaining weight--it really is due to CPE and my 24 hour shifts every week! Now only I need is a correlation between intelligence and weight loss I would be balanced. Heehee. Diana comes home today from her conference and I missed her very much--so it will be nice to have her home again. Doc will be all over her too I imagine, he hates it when we aren't both around. Well, I better get going I have a few things to do before my honey gets home!

I am happy!

2005-02-03T06:55:00.000-05:00

I worked an overnight last night and I am so happy--I slept! No more calls after 9 PM for me. The last call was around 9 and she could be seen in the morning, so I decided not to go and start to relax. I was even able to lie down around 10 PM and asleep not long afterwards. My body and soul needed that quiet night and some rest. It is also nice not to be bitchin so early in the morning too. :)

I am paying for this!

2005-02-01T19:42:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I just realized this is quickly becoming my "bitch page"...sorry about that. I promise to write something more positive soon. But first as I was saying.....I need to see a therapist for my chaplain training. Okay that is fine, I have been in therapy before and loved it when I had a good match with the therapist. So I start up last week and plan to go weekly in the beginning to get established and then down to every other week or whatever works. Last week, session 1 was very good. Liked the therapist and I had a good sense we could work together well. This week, session 2 not so good. She was 20 minutes late due to traffic and she had a migraine and was not present for the session. The next session is her make it or I am looking for someone else. I am not paying out of pocket to have someone not pay attention to me--I can find people to do that for free! Thanks anyways! Okay. I feel better. I just needed to get that off my chest. I am going back to Law and Order reruns and my glass of red wine. :) Hope your day was better than mine.