Roller coaster continues

Well, I was starting to feel better and that my mood was effected by PMS and my accepting that I will have a hard time getting pregnant and that I need to face that I am not as healthy as I used to be naturally/without effort. I guess it was a little bit like an early mid-life crisis--I say that jokingly, but it was about facing my own mortality. With PCOS, I am at high risk for developing diabetes, miscarriage, heart attack, etc. There is no reason to feel that I WILL have any of that, but I need to care for myself better through my diet and exercising. I need to work on those issues also if I want to become pregnant--so it is a win-win situation. So...why are some days still blue days--this week has been really hard. I am doing better with the healthy eating, but was disappointed this week when I didn't ovulate one good size follicle and couldn't inseminate this month again. And I did take that step over a week ago and called my father, and then called him again this past Monday--to which he has not called me back. Sunday was also my birthday--I have not heard from him about that either. I wish it didn't bother me that he didn't send a card or call--but it does. I wish I didn't want to see him at Christmas, but I do and will (want to)--and it is hard to accept that he doesn't want to see me. My in-laws, my aunt and uncle, and friends in CT are great in being supportive and caring--and I am very thankful for having them in my life. Anyways...I guess a have a few things going on that have me a little blue. The pregnancy thing I will keep working on and I am trying accupunture next week to help with that. My father--I will deal with my feelings and make decisions when I am ready about how much will I continue to try to keep connected to him. And everything else is really going fine--work, the house, my beautiful wife--all good. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to feel better and more grounded again in myself and my life with Diana. Hope you are doing okay too.