Part II: The Trip North to See Family

The day after getting our good baby news, Diana and I headed up north to see mostly her family and to celebrate Passover. With two seders, a birthday party, and a trip to Connecticut--we stayed up late every night. I therefore had to sleep until 11 AM most of the mornings there since I was up so late for my pregnant self. It was great to see so many of Diana's family, especially her cousins. There is always so much to catch-up on with each other. As for my side of the family--I called my father the week before and he didn't return my call. I called again and then he did call me back. However he was unable to commit to whether he could get together with me or not. So Diana came up with a good plan. She suggested we mail a card to both he and Nancy and see if that helped him make plans. Diana was wondering if it is hard for my father to make plans that aren't normally part of his regular schedule. Why it worked we are not sure, as he doesn't seem to be impaired as much cognitively as we were beginning to think. But nevertheless, we drove up and had a chance to visit with him at his home. He and Nancy built this house a few years ago and I had never seen it before. The house was very nice but it appears like no one lives there as it is not only spotless but void of any personal items or touches. The cats they have even match the entire color scheme of the house. It was weird, really. My father was the same--looks happy enough on the outside but is not easy to engage him deeply or emotionally. Neil and Wendy stopped by which saved the visit and that was when I realized how flat the conversation really had been with my father. We had a great visit with them and then went out to dinner together. My father didn't come with us as he and Nancy had dinner planned already. And frankly it seemed Nancy was staying away until we left. And my father was worried about going against Nancy and coming to dinner with us. It was very strange. The dinner was great as we had a chance to catch up with Neil and Wendy and also time to talk about my father and our weird experiences. Now I know that my father, whom I have known for a while was a narcissist, is married to an even bigger narcissist! This seems like there is justice being served already--and am not sad for him to be miserable with her--he deserves to know what he does to others with his self-centeredness. I didn't have time to see others, (my aunt and uncle, cousins, or friends) like I wanted to during this trip. We hope to be able to travel up again in the summer for a week vacation like usual, but it will depend on how I am feeling and doing with the pregnancy.